• Vicki O'Connor

You called her WHAT?

Updated: Dec 12, 2019

Recently I had the occasion to watch morning television (something I hardly ever do).

I settled in with my coffee to let my mind tune out to the stuff of my life and mindlessly stare at the box.

It was a panel show made up of women and a token man and I thought to myself " this will be somewhat entertaining for half an hour"; there's a majority of women so hopefully I will walk away once its finished, uplifted and happy with the state of the world.

I thought they would cover interesting women related topics; chew the fat about the minutiae of the life of women in 2019; tell some positive, uplifting stories etc.

You know the deal. A show where women present their take on the world and use the space to inspire the Sisterhood and unite us as the awesome beings that we truly are.

Well wasn't I in for a rude awakening.

Don't get me wrong. There probably were inspiring, uplifting and somewhat useful information on all the items we simply cannot live without (see infomercials) but the one thing that I remember from this show was one of the female presenters letting the whole Sisterhood down with unsolicited, malicious judgement of another Sister.

I'm not going to name the presenter or the woman she felt the need to judge but suffice to say that Ms Presenter is very well known and should have known better and the woman being judged is Ms MEGA famous.

The judgment and subsequent comments were around Ms Mega Famous being called a S.L.U.T. by Ms Presenter.

I have so many issues with this;

- that word should NEVER be used against another woman, especially, by another woman.

- How is it ok for men to have multiple partners but not a woman?

- Who says how many partners is too many for anyone?

- How does Ms Presenter presume to know how many sexual partners another person has had (or intends to have)?

- Could it be all show and no substance for the shock and publicity value by Ms Mega Famous?

- How is what a consenting adult does with her own life the business of ANYONE else?

- How is any of it Ms Presenter's business?

- Why do we feel we have the right to decide what is and isn't best for another person when we actually know NOTHING about how, when, where or why they choose to live their life the way they do?

- Why do we presume that our way is the only way a proper life should be conducted?

- Does Ms Presenter know all the facts, pleasant, not pleasant or down-right abusive and traumatising in Ms Mega Famous' life?

There are probably many, many more questions that could be asked about this scenario but I know you get the gist.

None of us know what goes on in anyone else's life. We can presume we do but we never will. We don't know their mental state, their past experiences, their worries or anxieties or their health issues.

So why do we presume WE know what's best for them in their lives and often give out our well considered opinions freely - wanted or not?

What if we all just minded our own damn business?

How someone else lives their life has literally nothing to do with how we live ours.

Your opinion on someone else's life is of no relevance here.

All Ms Presenter added to the world by doing this was more negativity, more judgement and more bad vibes.

There is more than enough of that to go around the world several times over.

Isn't there enough negativity and bad vibes already?

How about next time you go to judge someone (or even yourself) think about what you are about to add to the world.

Do you want to add positivity or negativity?

Be kind people.

We ALL have feelings. We ALL hurt. We ALL just want to be loved and accepted.

It's not that hard. If all else fails, say nothing at all.

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