• Vicki O'Connor

What if? Letting Go of Judgement

When you get a group of women together it doesn't take long for the chat to get to the discussion and apologies for them just BEING.

After the initial banter, the how are you's, how's the family etc the conversation seems to very quickly get to the many and varied apologies women each have, that you just know they have trotted out over a life-time and in many situations. Apologies for their appearance, weight, wrinkles; pretty much anything to do with their appearance and how they fail to measure up to the deep conditioning society has placed upon women for centuries.

Conditioning about how they SHOULD look; how they SHOULD behave, how skinny they really SHOULD be, how they SHOULD present in public, their clothing, their haircut, how loud they are, how quiet they are and on and on it goes.

You've been there and heard it. I bet you have even been an enthusiastic participant. The camaraderie of self deprecation because we fear we will be too much or take up too much space or appear "stuck up" if we dare to actually approve of ourselves in front of others.

We all know deep inside how it really works. We all have our flaws and rather than wait for someone else to point them out for us we will offer them (and ourselves) up for sacrifice into the cauldron of minimal self belief and confidence that is in our DNA. It's a camaraderie of deep seated self loathing learned long ago from our ancestral Sisters who hid their wisdom, beauty and intuition for fear of being burned at the stake as a witch.

Whilst a lot of our common behaviour has changed and we no long fear the actual threat of being burned at the stake, there is still an awful lot of cellular memory and fear of being seen for who we really are; and if we point out another Sister we get to live another day. As a collective SisterHood we ARE evolving to accept and embrace one another for the Divine Feminine beings that we inherently are and there are many movements springing up around the world where women are uniting to rise up and take our place in the world.

But there is still an under-current of suspicion and wariness we can sometimes harbour towards other women even if we don't consciously recognise it.

And herein lies the problem.

We all know the internal battle we can have as women where we can actually feel proud of who we are; proud of our achievements, happy with how we look and generally feel ok about ourselves and our place in the world: but the outside world does not approve of such indulgences for women. Society still needs us to conform to the un-written, but very powerful, rules that pertain exclusively to women and govern almost all aspects of our lives (even if we aren't really conscious of them).

We quite often second guess how we present ourselves to the world lest we rock the boat of society's permissions and expectations.

We've all been there and we all know what that internal conflict is like and what it is doing to us collectively. We want to BE a certain way in the world but the world doesn’t want us to be like that. We struggle at an individual level to find our place and also at the collective level.

When we turn that inner struggle out onto our Sisters to make ourselves feel a teensy bit better (and deflect the focus from ourselves for a bit), all we are doing is contributing to the eons and eons of conditioning, judgement and expectations that have been placed upon women. In effect, we are contributing to our own ongoing oppression by partaking in this common practice. By judging another Sister or Sisters, all we are really doing is prolonging the ability for us to rise up and take our place in the world. We are just adding more and more negativity to the world every time we judge ourselves as being "less than" what society expects of us, in any way, shape or form.

How we live our lives is entirely up to us.

How a Sister lives her life is entirely up to her.

How we feel about it is absolutely uninvited and irrelevant.


What if, as a whole United SisterHood, we all agreed to let go of the judgement we place on ourselves to fit into the stereotypes of what the ideal woman should be?

What if we all agreed to stop buying into the commercial, retail industry trying very hard to make us feel "less than" or "wrong" or "somehow broken" because we don't look like a super-model, purely because it make them millions?

What if we each agree to stop comparing ourselves to others and agree to accept ourselves exactly as we are (warts and all) and be perfectly happy just as we are?

What if we each agree to let go of the need to judge another Sister on how she lives her life? What if we just let her live her life her way and bless her on her journey?

How does the way another Sister live her life have any bearing on our own?

See her, acknowledge her and bless her on her journey. Nothing more is required of you; certainly NOT your opinions of her.

What if we all pledged to always do what is right for us in the full knowledge that EVERY Sister has our back? What would your life look like if you could walk out your front door knowing that no Sister, the world over, was ever going to judge you?

What would you do? What would you wear? How freeing would that be for you?

What if we ALL agreed right here and right now to leave not only our selves alone and free of judgement but to pass that gift onto all the Sisters of the world?

What would our world look like if we each stopped judging ourselves and each other and just got on with our lives, just as we wish, with approx 3.5 billion Sisters who are on our side?

What if we just stop buying into the age old story that there is something inherently wrong with us and stopped filling the coffers of those who seek to keep us off balance and in desperate search of the perfect product to make all our "flaws" go away?

Do you think you can do this?

- Do you think as a United SisterHood we can do this?

- Are you willing to step up and make this happen?

- For yourself, for you daughters and for the SisterHood?

- Can you encourage, raise up and bless the Sisters in your life all the time, in every situation even if you don't particularly like them?

- Can you do it for the greater good?

- Can you let go of your fear of being seen and be a champion for a Sister who may not have the strength to speak up for herself yet?

Can you just send out love and compassion to the SisterHood despite the hurt you may have received over your lifetime?

For if we Unite together as ONE, join as ONE and raise our collective vibration as ONE we can and will be the change the world so desperately needs now. We can and will be a united conduit to usher the Divine Feminine back to the world for balance and harmony for ALL humanity?

Are you ready?

Are you in?

Declare your Allegiance to the SisterHood.

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