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  • Vicki O'Connor

The effects of negative self talk

Updated: Dec 12, 2019

#followme #postivieselftalk #stopjudgingyourself #selfacceptance


Negative self talk diminishes you

What words do you regularly use to berate yourself? What words do you use to judge and compare yourself with others? Are these words even yours or are they words that you have had said to you your entire life by other people, which you have then internalised and used against yourself?


Would you use these words on another person? A friend? A partner? A child?


Why use them on yourself?


Many of the ideas and opinions we have about ourselves come from things that have been said to us by other people. Often these other people play a very significant role in our lives such as parent, sibling, partner or friend. When we hear these words about us said often enough, we start to believe them and internalise them until they become part of our own vernacular. We don't even realise they are other people's words and opinions; they just become second nature.


If these words are of a positive nature then great; we will go through life with fairly healthy self esteem and self belief. But if the words we regularly hear are negative and judgemental in nature, they can create a lifetime of inner struggle and fight to gain the upper hand on our own self worth.


The thing is; nobody's opinion of you increases or decreases your worth as a person. What someone else thinks of you or believes about you is a reflection of them not you.


You are inherently worthy just because you exist. You are not "less than" just because someone close to you thinks you are. That's their opinion. It does not reflect on you or how good or bad a person you are.


You are worthy of all the good in the world because you are here.


I'm not saying it is easy to unlearn all the things people (or society) have told you you are. These beliefs can be pretty ingrained. The trick is to recognise that they do not belong to you. They belong to the other people, soceity etc. Try to recognise these words when you say them to yourself. Can you see where or who they have come from?


Instead of continuing the negative process, try to catch yourself saying negative things to yourself and one by one, turn each one into a positive or better yet, just don't say them at all. Recognise that they are not your words and have nothing to do with who YOU really are. They are an opinion made into word form. They are not real and they are not YOU.


Often we start to engage in our very own negative self talk when we compare ourselves to other people or think we should be something other than what or who we really are.


Each time you say something negative about yourself you are actually taking away a little (or sometimes big) chunk of your self worth. It lowers your vibration and lowers the collective vibration of humanity.


What if you could regain and replenish your self worth and raise your vibration by saying one positive thing about yourself everyday, then increasing that to everything you say? How would that feel? Do you think you could do it?


After-all, why is it so easy to say things to ourselves that we would never dare say to a friend?


Don't say them to yourself either.


Your are worth more than that.


love and hugs,


Vicki

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