• Vicki O'Connor

Other People's Opinions

Updated: Dec 12, 2019

Why do we care so much about what other's think of us?

Even though many of us claim not to, a lot of us seem to deeply care about what others think of us. We care whether they like us. We care if we have their approval about our appearance. We care constantly about whether we are doing/saying or being the "right" thing.

Why do we care about this so much?

What exactly is it that we are tying so hard to live up to?

Is it a set of rules written in a big, fat dusty book somewhere?

Is it law written down in leather bound books in the halls of government?

What is it that we are striving for?


We are striving for the positive opinions from others about ourselves. Plain and simple.

But what exactly are these opinions?

They are merely thought forms. Nothing more and nothing less. They are frequencies of thought that someone (fleetingly) has about us.

They mean tiddly squat and they have absolutely NO authority over us yet we give them so much weight.

Here's a mind blowing concept:

YOU are the only person in the world who is with you 24/7.

Only YOU. So who do you reckon knows you the best? You, or the hundred or so people who you come into contact with over the course of a week or month?

No prizes for guessing; YOU

Only YOU know the real YOU.

These other 100 or so people only know aspects of you.

They have a concept of you based on the interaction they have had with you and the time frame that interaction occurred within.

They may have seen the fun-loving, vivacious person who was having a great time at a birthday party. The care-free person who gets along with everyone and is the life of the party.

Another person at the same party could have an impression of you as the grumpy woman who told off the kids for splashing her when they jumped in the pool.

Then there's you partner. They have a different version of you again in their head because they see you and know you in a different way than everyone else.

Same with your parents, siblings, friends and colleagues.

Each of these people have a snapshot of you in their head that represents only a tiny, weeny part of the sum of who you are.

So why do we care so much about what these people think of us when they can not possibly make that assumption with only a fraction of the whole picture.

The truth is; what these people think of us is absolutely and utterly irrelevant in the scheme of our lives.

What they think of us does not alter our worth in this world or the amount of space we deserve to take up.

Their opinions of us have nothing to do with US. They are merely a thought form based on a snap shot of one tiny aspect of ourselves.

You could know thousands of people and each one will have a version of you in their head based on how they found you when you were in their presence for any given time.

Therefore the only person in the entire world whose opinion you should very much care about is your own.

You are the only one you should be trying to compete with (ie be a better person than the day before), the only person who should approve or disapprove of your behaviour and the only person who truly knows the real you.

YOU are the one who has to go to sleep in your own head at night. YOU are the only one you should be trying to impress.

Everyone else can worry about themselves.

Let's leave each other alone to do our lives our own way.

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